Whiskey And Your Momma | amateurprose on Xanga

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Whiskey And Your Momma

     When I'm clean and sober

     my behavior's rather good

     There are things I wouldn't do

     that whiskey surely would

     I am awesome company

     but don't pour me a drink

     cause whiskey streaks around your house

     and pisses in your sink

     I respect relationships

     and strive to keep them pure

     but whiskey fucks your girlfriend

     when you drive out to the store

     I'm a peaceful pacifist

     but whisky doesn't care!

     he's a fucking masochist

     he'll start shit with a bear

     you can take me anywhere

     and i'll behave with class

     but whiskey might just bite a bitch

     or slap a strangers ass

     So if you feel like drinking

     make sure it's understood

     I might not knock a fucker out

     but whiskey surely would

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so...where you sober when you wrote this..?....curious minds want to know....
- 7/31/2012 12:59 AM
- Kris0logy (message)
- recommend
- reply
PEE OUTSIDE
- 7/31/2012 1:00 AM
- ShimmerBodyCream (message)
- recommend
- reply
Whiskey dick won't impress any chicks.
- 7/31/2012 1:05 AM
- SolidStateTheory (message)
- recommend (2)
- reply
Thanks for the warning!!
- 7/31/2012 1:06 AM
- CuddlyKat (message)
- recommend
- reply
Love it! I can relate to this!!! ;P
- 7/31/2012 1:07 AM
- Snoog420 (message)
- recommend
- reply
Love it, now I must get you drunk! :p
- 7/31/2012 1:09 AM
- The_Unwritten_Stories (message)
- recommend
- reply
this is now my new favorite of all your poems. I love this. It's just plain awesome
- 7/31/2012 1:11 AM
- cdedodgethis (message)
- recommend
- reply
Best. Poem. Ever. :D
- 7/31/2012 1:14 AM
- ItsAll_A_LoveWar (message)
- recommend
- reply
Great. Now I want you even more <3
- 7/31/2012 1:20 AM
- hintofme (message)
- recommend
- reply
LMFAO! Gold!
- 7/31/2012 1:21 AM
- solidonsand (message)
- recommend
- reply
hahahhaha FAVORITE one yet.
- 7/31/2012 1:21 AM
- voodoo_flower_child (message)
- recommend
- reply
Yeah whisky will do that.
- 7/31/2012 2:37 AM
- EmilyandAtticus (message)
- recommend
- reply
Good morning

You are nowhere acting classy. Anyhow, ugly poem.
- 7/31/2012 2:52 AM
- fabolousclown (message)
- recommend
- reply
Absolutely love this.
- 7/31/2012 3:14 AM
- rachelbachel32 (message)
- recommend
- reply
I figured you for a beer guy.
- 7/31/2012 8:01 AM
- Kellsbella (message)
- recommend (1)
- reply
Lol, nice. Also a reason I don't drink.
- 7/31/2012 8:35 AM
- ctaretz (message)
- recommend
- reply
Amazing. This one ought to be anthologized.
- 7/31/2012 9:01 AM
- we_deny_everything (message)
- recommend
- reply
Whiskey makes me write excellent papers and be nice to everyone. I'm sorry it doesn't do the same for you
- 7/31/2012 12:13 PM
- Manic_Butterflies (message)
- recommend
- reply
You are too funny
- 7/31/2012 1:19 PM
- Megabyyte (message)
- recommend
- reply
lol srsly I should have put whiskey in my post
- 7/31/2012 1:20 PM
- MrTrololo (message)
- recommend
- reply
Whiskey makes as cuddly as a raving mad kitten.
- 7/31/2012 1:32 PM
- Erika_Steele (message)
- recommend
- reply
lol. I wish I could piss in a sink
- 7/31/2012 1:39 PM
- GuiltyGretchen (message)
- recommend
- reply
You. Me. Whiskey fight. It's on.
- 7/31/2012 1:54 PM
- GodlessLiberal (message)
- recommend
- reply
I prefer tequila. But I've been banned from drinking tequila when other people are around. =(
- 7/31/2012 1:56 PM
- MommaFish89 (message)
- recommend
- reply
Aint this the truth!
- 7/31/2012 2:00 PM
- lovelightwellness (message)
- recommend
- reply

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- From: amateurprose
- Posted: 7/31/2012 1:12 PM

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