Don't Fart In The Bed!!! | amateurprose on Xanga

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Don't Fart In The Bed!!!

Sweet little flower

come love me a lot

I want you above me

I need what you've got

get on, and get off

lets give it a shot

lets go to my loft

and get tawdry and hot

Off with the lights

it's time to get started

wait, what was that noise

holy shit, you just farted???

No? well alright

but it's burning my eyes!

what the hell is that smell??

girl, you're telling me lies!!

Don't ruin the moment!

It's perfect, don't waste it!

Oh Shit! Not again!

and this time I can taste it!!

What the hell is your problem

you fowl little wench!

Is you bottom a cannon

of horrible stench??

a volcano of funk?

that always erupts!

Man, you've got to get out

think i'm gonna throw up!

I'm not gonna lie

think your hot as the sun

but your ass blasting gas?

think the moment is done!

so a word of advice

If you want to have sex?

put the tacos aside

and chow down on Gas-X!!!

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hahahaha... I can't think of anything else to say....
- 9/26/2012 2:09 PM
- Megabyyte (message)
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Lol. You are amazing. I wonder if you write these poems off of personal experiences. Hahahaha. By the way I like farting in the bed and trapping it under the covers.
- 9/26/2012 2:18 PM
- Insanely_Imperfect (message)
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ALL THE DUTCH OVENS.
- 9/26/2012 2:23 PM
- Thatslifekid (message)
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hey, sometimes it has to come out!
- 9/26/2012 2:30 PM
- solidonsand (message)
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lolololol!!!
- 9/26/2012 2:32 PM
- HandTossedPepperoni (message)
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@Insanely_Imperfect - ROFLMAO!!!!!
- 9/26/2012 3:15 PM
- olwd (message)
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OMG, this has to be personal experience, I don't know how someone can come up with this kind of stuff.
- 9/26/2012 3:16 PM
- olwd (message)
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100 eProps!

hahaha. Oh, johnny!
- 9/26/2012 3:41 PM
- GuiltyGretchen (message)
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queef
- 9/26/2012 3:55 PM
- AncoraImparo (message)
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An episode of Adventure Time comes to mind, where a witch threatens to suck Jake into her bottomless bottom unless Finn gets her some princess hair.
- 9/26/2012 3:58 PM
- chronic_masticator (message)
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Good work, young man.
- 9/26/2012 4:46 PM
- we_deny_everything (message)
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There's going to be a lot of Gas-X sold now.
- 9/26/2012 5:13 PM
- musterion99 (message)
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I sense a personal tragedy underlying this epic work.
- 9/26/2012 5:51 PM
- darkoozeripple (message)
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Bahaha!! That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time! I luv u boy!! :)
- 9/26/2012 8:36 PM
- CuddlyKat (message)
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You hopeless romantic, you! :) :)
- 9/26/2012 9:50 PM
- EmilyandAtticus (message)
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Bhahahah, sooo recognisable @Insanely_Imperfect. Its even funnier when someone is there with you, and you suddenly surprise them with a flow of arty farty
- 9/27/2012 7:56 AM
- stadsjongen (message)
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great work.
- 9/27/2012 8:36 AM
- saltycheese (message)
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this is hilarious!! great job you sexy beast. I'm going to fuck you into next week.
- 9/27/2012 11:30 AM
- thespaceinmybed (message)
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@thespaceinmybed - good.clear your calander though, cause i'm going to fuck you into next YEAR. AND, better call a priest while your at it cause you and I are going to commit sins that have yet to be invented!
- 9/27/2012 1:09 PM
- amateurprose (message)
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@saltycheese - yep
- 9/27/2012 1:37 PM
- amateurprose (message)
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Haha aww
- 9/27/2012 3:20 PM
- crazy2love (message)
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Love it!
- 9/28/2012 5:07 PM
- Crying_In_Color (message)
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- reply
hahahahaha never in my life i have read poetry and busted a gut from laughing after reading it!
- 10/2/2012 4:57 AM
- OSUbabe9999 (message)
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- reply
Ok, this is another one going on my facebook!
- 10/2/2012 1:40 PM
- BoulderChristina (message)
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- reply
When the hell are you going to post something new?
- 10/2/2012 10:21 PM
- LeapYearProposal (message)
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About this Entry

- From: amateurprose
- Posted: 9/27/2012 1:37 PM

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Who recommended?

Minis

GuiltyGretchen

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